Today my physics teacher tried to tell me that if you dropped a pen while standing on the moon, it would float away. Because there is no gravity. He said the only reason astronauts didn't float away was because they were wearing heavy boots. WFH.

Today I saw a lady driving down the road with a burger in one hand and texting with her cell phone in the other. Was she steering with her pinkies or her knees? I didn't stick around to find out. WFH.

Today I tried to cross the street and thought I had plenty of time. The pickup truck in the far lane began flooring it towards me. I almost got run over. He then had to slam on the brakes cause the light was red. WFH.

Today I bought a bag of candy at Walmart. The checker put it in a plastic grocery bag. I said I didn't need a bag just for that as it was a waste of a bag. She took the bag and as I left she tossed it in the trash. WFH

Today I caught the neighbor's dog pooping in my front yard. As the neighbor was walking away, I yelled out the door to ask if he was going to come back to pick it up. He did. WFH kind of.

Today I saw people waiting outside the bar for it to open. It was 7:30 in the morning. WFH.

Today on the bus I heard someone say that for Christmas they were buying their kids the "nintendo weed". WFH.

today i got yelled at for accidentally using the word christmas on the invitation to the company "holiday" party. WFH.

Today in the men's room at work someone missed the urinal. A lot. Maintenance came in and instead of cleaning it up, put a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign there. WFH

Today at work I got a call from the newspaper, trying to sell me a subscription. I told them I already got the paper at home and at work. He then proceeded to tell me why I should consider buying a subscription. WFH.